—This is a very experimental piece for me and I am still not sure how I feel about it. Also, this is like the 3rd or 4th draft but I haven’t posted previous versions—

Chapter 1

When He beckoned me
I came

I swallowed His word whole
And He tattooed shame upon my skin
Named my body morbid:
A holy union of flesh and feminine virtue

I was His most faithful creation
When I spoke to my daughters
It was in clouded parables
I taught them to laugh out loud
But cry in darkened shadows
Nurse wounds in secret
And fuck with quiet shame

I gifted them with the skill
To mold their suffering
Into a badge of redemption
For sins they did not own

When I could no longer stand
The bitter taste of false teachings
I bit off my tongue
Gorged myself on generations of blood

And like a vulgar surrender,
The truths I had failed to speak
Slipped from my mouth

They fell to the ground
Crawled away from me
Dug quiet graves
Buried their misused muted bodies

They festered beneath the earth
Feeding the Darkness
That He had worked so hard
To scorch from this world

But His Light is an illusion
A fleeting false construct
And now the time has come
For The Dark to reclaim
What is rightfully Hers

We all came from darkness
And into darkness
We will all return

Chapter 2

It had been so long
I had almost forgotten her touch
The solid warmth of her embrace

She heard my non-prayers
And She came for me
She handed me Her sword
And Her three-headed spear
Gifted me with enough limbs
To carry both my sacrifice
And my vengeance

She pulled me close and loved me
I loved her back

She whispered to me
I listened

She kissed me
I fed and grew strong

She filled me
And I remembered

With the memory the laughter came
I laughed so loud the earth trembled
It had grown old and weary
And had forgotten the face of our Mother

But I remember
I remember it all
And I remember Him
My Father
My False Lover
My Maker
My God

He hides from me
But I still hear Him
I still feel His fingers on my skin
Still taste the fierce kiss
With which He sealed my making
His tongue still burning
With all the fires he would one day feed His Hell

I know Him well
And I will find Him
After all
I am my Father’s daughter
Am I not?

Chapter 3

When my journey began
I sought out my daughters
I thought to save them
To fashion for myself
Some feeble redemption
But time is not patient or kind

My fifth to last daughter I found
Her body long turned to ash and dust
Along with the stake upon which she burned
I took a fistful of her ash to carry with me

My fourth to last daughter I found
Long buried in a shallow grave
A shameful secret
Condemned by His virtuous disciples
I took her skull
Rested her sister’s ash
In the hollow of it

My third to last daughter I found
Rotting, her skin torn
It was a poor armor
Against the shower of rocks that flew
From the hands of the righteous
I tore a piece
To lay upon her sister’s ashes

My second to last daughter I found
A frail and ragged corpse
The price she had to pay
For being the whore He named her
She died in my arms
I plucked six strands of her hair
And placed them on the torn piece of her sister’s skin

And my last daughter I found
Weak but still alive
Her body victim
Of her quest to win His love
I lifted her to my breast
Held her with a guilt laden tenderness
And I vowed I would never again bear fruit
For Him and His world to devour

And on I walk on until my feet blister and my skin cracks

Chapter 4

Finally I see Him
There
Distant
Hidden in mist and shadow
Dozing in the twisted roots of His withered tree

I stop and sit
Cradle my last remaining daughter in my lap
Whisper words of comfort in her ear
As I slit her throat
I use the skull I carry to catch the blood
And she joins her sisters

This will be my offering to Him:

“My weakness My Lord for you to drink
My last and final sacrifice”

And as He sips
My tongueless voice howls in triumph
I laugh and I sing and I dance
In see-through silks and painted feet
In beads and gold and pierced flesh
In fish net stockings and red stiletto heels
In mini skirts and fuck-me boots

I dance to all His divine and deviant desires,
I dance until the earth quakes beneath me
I dance until my feet spark flame
And ignite the desiccated remains
Of His world

I dance
And all is turned to ash by my fire
It is now a cremation ground
A funeral pyre
Like my heart

Chapter 5

Drunk on my sacrifice he stumbles
And that is when I strike
My blade sinks deep

His body curls around my sword
The redeeming embrace
Of a long neglected lover

And I smile as He bleeds